Chapters end, Chapters begin

Hi Everyone, 

Well, I just finished a conversation with one of the most profound souls I have ever met. In my experience, this person has always been a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and insight... and today's topic was on social media and it's destructive nature... and how it amplifies the worst parts of ourselves. Funny enough, here I am blogging so that I may reflect and eventually share on social media (insert nervous emoji)...

One of the topics that we did discuss was how there is no "root of all evil" but rather that WE, as flawed humans, have the ability to use any tools (i.e. social media, money...) for means that cultivate and create, or diminish and destroy. We did admit that some tools like social media are inherently designed to entice our vices and keep us slaves under their algorithms and addictive qualities... but at the end of the day, like any tool, it's in how we use it. 

I say all of this to start, because unlike a social media post (which I am SUPER guilty of using) I am hoping to expand upon my thoughts and feelings, reflect with authenticity, and give a more detailed account of my life that I feel comfortable sharing. Of course, in no form of communication... whether it be perceived as more "authentic" or "less evil" like memoirs, books, or even a face to face conversation, will I be able to fully convey every aspect of every moment. In our lives, we are the only ones who truly get that opportunity (or sometimes curse) but I do want to make it abundantly clear that what I choose to share is NOT the entire picture. Especially over these past couple of months, I have had some low spots, as I am sure so many of us have. And when I say low... I mean LOW. In what I share on here, you will see the best moments, not because I want anyone to think I am perfect, but because they are beautiful or meaningful. I am open to share my worst moments, but I don't feel that this medium is always the most appropriate place to share all of those. So as you read, if you continue to read,  I want you to understand that it will be long so that it is more authentic, and that my life isn't perfect or always amazing.

I hope through this transparency, I can not only be seen in a clearer light, but also you may find it within yourself to reflect upon both the moments of beauty, and also the moments of darkness that we each find ourselves in day to day.  

With all of that being said.... LETS DIG IN :) I have MONTHS to catch up on... (I seriously suck at this HAHA) 

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What's been going on in the life of Chase..? Well let's go back to Christmas shall we?! I think we can all appreciate the warmer weather some more if we remember back to the snowy 20 degree days hahahaha!

Every year we do matching jammies :) It is one of our family traditions, and is definitely one of my favorites as well. Mom and Dad always find the best jammies for us to wear before we open anything we all go and change into our jammies. Also, if you know August, you know how difficult this picture was HAHAHAHAHA

Mom also made Hot Chocolate :) So we all posed with our drinks--- and we made August a puppy hot chocolate (just whip cream) :) He was PUMPED.

^^^ Featuring mom's Christmas Onesie! HAHA

He is SO determined to be a good boy so he can have this :) 

If you have been keeping up with my life, you have probably noticed that I have been teaching myself how to cook. And while that has been going well, my baking skills need some WORK hahahaha. I asked mom to make some cookies with me. 

They actually didn't turn out bad! Well... some of them.. But that was the sheet's fault. It was a bad sheet and all the cookies on that sheet were destroyed :( 

We also made some gingerbread houses this year. This is something that we just started this year but I hope we continue.... ALTHOUGH, for next year, we will ALL have the "pre-built" houses so that we can just decorate. If you look in the middle, those are mine and Dad's and they are... well.... not great hahahaha We couldn't get anything to stick together and it was terrible. But Andy and Mom had the two already built ones in the front and then decorated them beautifully. Alyssa... well somehow she worked her magic and got everything to work despite not having a pre-built house. UGH. Some people are just more crafty than others ;) 

By the way... speaking of that... if you haven't check it out yet, go on Facebook and check out Alyssa's Blackboard Creations. Seriously--- they are awesome. 

Also shout out to August trying to eat everything always... 
P.S. He did eat them when we came back for New Years............. LOL 

Lastly, I got to play a two hour gig at the Merc in Titusville. The Merc features all kinds of small businesses inside, and one of those is my Aunt Treva's business "Moon Roosters Boutique" Again... my family is SUPER crafty.. hahaha Check her out on Facebook because she makes some incredible crafts and sells them at a super reasonable price!!!

It was so much fun to play Christmas music for everyone who came in :) I love playing gigs like that! 

Overall, Christmas was different this year, but I got to see my family and spend time with them and for that, I am beyond grateful...

^^^ Us watching murder documentaries because we are psychopaths hahahahahaha featuring... my beanie :) 

I invite you, alongside of myself, to think of those people who mean something to you right now... Take a moment and pray for them if you pray, meditate energy into the world, call them, or simply just give thanks to the universe that you have them. Just a moment... <3 

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New Years?!

If you're reading this you have successfully traveled around the sun once more on this floating rock we call Earth... CONGRATS! Only this year, it felt like Earth was a little lopsided! Has anyone actually checked the tilt of the Earth lately??? Maybe that's the true cause of 2020...? No? Okay. 

Let's get started with some thoughts:

We ride the waves of the world wherever they may slosh. It is nauseating at best but we don't really have much a choice. The world tumbles and crumbles and we feel the ripples from across the world more present than ever before in history. We face global pressures such as world conflict, and this year pandemics.. and national pressures like our economy and social unrest... and more personal pressures from our jobs, our communities, our families... and within each level there are undulations that toss us, stir us, and make us reconsider who we are, contextually. In some ways, when we aren't completely disassociated from all things sane, this can be a beautifully cacophony of interesting layers that give context to our lives and order to the chaos... but sometimes they can be overwhelming. It isn't everyday we are faced with pressures from all fronts in such a pressing way for so long... but that is exactly where we found ourselves this year. I think for so many of us, this year felt a little too turbulent as we tried to adapt to every level becoming more "weight-ful" at once.

A couple months ago, my friend sent me a beautiful devotion on stillness and patience. It said that we must be like dirty water that desires to be clean. We must be still so that the dirt may fall to the bottom and give us clarity. 
We must sit in stillness... and then sit more.... and then once most of it has fallen to the bottom... continue sitting until even the rest can fall. I won't get into the spiritual side of that devotion, but it got me thinking... how do we sit still during a time of such worldly turbulence? How do we remain still when we feel like at every fundamental level we are being stirred and uprooted from the normalcy of our lives? 
Well, I don't have the answers for you... I have a couple for me, but each of us must decide for ourselves how we can take such a turbulent 2020, find stillness, and seek clarity for 2021. 

I hope that each and every one of us finds at least a glimpse that of that clarity...and I hope it is paired with hope for the future and joy for the moments that we get to spend living. 

I will be the first to admit that 2020 was actually a great year for me. I say this fully acknowledging my privileges and never to boast, but rather to reflect on positive parts of my journey. If this year was hard for you, I am here for you.. you need only reach out and you will have someone to listen to you. This isn't a superficial post to make others think I am some incredible person, I am not. And while this year was great in so many ways, I also faced immense struggles and pain- but at the end of the day, the year in reflection makes me smile more than it breaks my soul, and that is a win in my eyes. 

My professor spoke profoundly about a music term called "Messa di voce" my first semester. And as I am writing this, it all makes sense to me...

"Messa di voce" is a sustaining of a note for a long period of time... and while you sustain that you, you gradually get louder... and then gradually get softer again. He said it's like how the wind blows... soft and then it blows past us quickly and then dissipates... or how we feel pain... urgently, then dwindling off. It's natural. Its gradual. And we adapt with the changes as they come... but this year was less like that... like that beautiful progression of natural events... and more of a sudden dumping of everything at once. In music, we call that suddenness subito. 

Well... from sensationalized news headlines like "murder hornets" to the devastation of COVID-19, to civil unrest both foreign and domestic, and even to binging the Queen's Gambit, 2020 has been so many adjectives... and I am not sure that there is just one that can sum it up. But while the world faced challenges both new, and old, we each also had our own personal journeys to negotiate.. and tonight invite you to reflect on yours. 

Here are some photos from New Years with my family :) 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Seriously... look how big these cards are?! 

We were playing Rummy, which is a staple in our family. I actually used to refuse to play my mom because she would slay me so bad as a kid and I would cry hahahahahahaha She still slays.. though I think Alyssa won this year?! 

When August travels with me he is always in the back... that way I don't have to clean my ENTIRE car. But he jumped up here and cuddled beside me. What. a. freaking. cutie. 

As you can see... I'm not super pleased... 

Well, Chapters end, and Chapters begin... That was the end of 2020, and the beginning of 2021... Here is to a new year with new challenges and opportunities! 

On that same topic of chapters, I opened up the chapter of Graduate studies. I opened this chapter at YSU and was studying Choral Conducting with Dr. Lee who is sincerely an INCREDIBLE conductor, musician, mind, and human. I finished my first semester and entered my second semester- but about half way through I decided that it wasn't the right time for me to be there, so I left. Balancing my full-time work, private students and Graduate studies was difficult, but at the end of the day--- it wasn't fulfilling. Surely I could have pushed through, but that isn't education to me... that is getting a degree, but not education. I could go on an entire diatribe about how academia doesn't produce quality students and how degrees don't secure quality, but I won't on this thread... but nevertheless, I didn't want to be the product of that. If I get a degree, I want to really get it- focus on it, and absorb knowledge and experience. It wasn't my time, but maybe someday it will be, or maybe not. 
My life philosophy is centered around making life what we think it should be. Basically, if we aren't satiated, we should change our path. If our jobs are holding us back, find a place that will help you grow. If your plate is too full, release something. If you feel stuck, go adventure. 
Obviously I am aware that this is easier said than done and sometimes we cant just up and leave our lives... but there are also moments that present themselves to us and we have the opportunity to grab them; so do it. 
I could feel the wind changing directions and I decided to run WITH it, this time. <3 

Despite that... here are two clips from my graduate experience that I felt pretty good about. The first is a piece that I wrote the music and poetry to, and the second is a piece by Arnold Schoenberg. I shared the first before, but I am really excited about it because it's an original composition and I feel like my singing in it is pretty decent as well... so enjoy again :) 

A big thanks to James Lesniak of the Pittsburgh Opera for accompanying me and being my vocal coach!!! He is INCREDIBLE 

1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx0BGsdnwkY "Slumbered Solitude"

2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjwjqt71MMc "Here I Stand"

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HOPE!

March 1st marked my year anniversary at Hope Lutheran Church in Cranberry! I am BEYOND blessed to work for such an incredible church and congregation and under such AMAZING Pastors. 

Despite the challenges of COVID, we had a great Christmas season, lenten season, and Easter. If you're looking for a church family, I highly suggest Hope Lutheran in Cranberry. You can visit our website at hlc.church :) 

I don't play the organ... but I have attempted to play it many times at Hope to give the congregation the experience at worship when our organist is out. I haven't been chased out with pitch forks yet, so it can't be THAT bad hahahahaha

Here are some of the things that our music program is doing at Hope!

I have started Hope's first ever Children's Choir!!! WOOOOO! This is something that from my interview I, and the congregation and staff, have been very passionate about. Getting children to sing at a young age is not only helpful for their development, but it is also so much for them to be involved and use their voices!!! It has been SO much to work with these kiddos so far! We made our big debut on Easter Sunday and we are just getting started! 

Our Hope Praise Band... or "Prays" Band as Seth (our electric guitar player) likes to say--- is becoming more and more established at Hope! I have enjoyed jamming with these incredible musicians each time we have had the opportunity to! 

Here are two songs that I wrote that the Praise Band helped bring to life! 

1: "What Could Stand Against?"
This song talks about the idea that nothing, no matter how big or terrifying can ever overcome us because God is for us.
"If God is for us, let go of fear and lift up your head. If God is for us, then what could stand against?" 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb5W07TcaSk&list=RDMMRb5W07TcaSk&start_radio=1

2:"Sweet Resurrection" 
This song is truly a fun piece that celebrates Jesus and His resurrection. In His resurrection we feel the sweet freedom and power of His forgiveness!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4gvfcXIpMs&list=RDMMRb5W07TcaSk&index=2 

Lastly, the adult choir has been gathering (with masks on and socially distanced until we record) to work on my cantata "The Colors of Easter." They did an INCREDIBLE job on this offering and I know that it touched the hearts of so many that got to experience the sound of our choir again!!! 
We also had the amazing opportunity to feature Slippery Rock Art professor Heather Hertel and her beautiful painting :) And a big thanks to Jay Michelson for editing everything together. Here is the final product!

"The Colors of Easter" 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kPXzXCbyXw
This cantata takes us from Jesus at His last meal, all the way through His resurrection. If you have 15 minutes, take a listen and watch a beautiful piece of art be created right in front of your eyes alongside the music!

Like I said, it has been a true pleasure to be at Hope and I can't wait for the future to see how God uses me to serve His people <3
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August time :) 

Let's take a moment and appreciate this little cutie :) 

When I was doing score study, August came over and took a nap beside me. He always come over to me when I'm doing work on the floor :) That is how I work best and he loves it. 

The other night, August and I went on the porch to enjoy the sunset and the evening. I got some wine, and I played virtual chess with my best friend Ben Snyder. August was so happy to be outside :) 

Anytime the sun comes through the window, he finds it and BATHES! hahahaha He loves the sun. 

Look at him! What an attitude ;) 

Sometimes he is so cute that I seriously cant...

I am not sure why he crosses his paws like this??? 

So August is NOT allowed on my couch, but when I take him to Mom and Dad's, he is hahahahahaha So he LOVES climbing up there and laying on the couch. hahahaha

He was being a good boy so I gave him his favorite :) 

I love his pup so much. Through the entire pandemic, it's been a blessing to have him next to me to keep me company. I love when I get home he is always there wagging his tail. <3 
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RANDOM :) 

These next parts don't really fall under a certain topic, per-say, but I would like to share them :) 

This one day, I was rushing around trying to fulfill my busy schedule, but my students all canceled. I was already on my way to teach them, so I had a couple of options... I could turn around and go home, or I could adventure. I decided to adventure. 

What it helped bring into realization is that life changes in the blink of an eye. I planned that entire week to go to that lesson. I got dressed to go to the lesson, and I was on my way to the lesson.... but I never made it there. 
I found a small park that I always pass but have never noticed and I walked around in silence for about an hour. I read signs that were there, and I took pictures of the beautiful sky and creek. I even sat and meditated in the gazebo that was there and it brought me to tears feeling the cold air and just being grateful for a change in pace. 

We plan our lives out... but sometimes, it's best when the plans fall through and we find ourselves somewhere else. 

What a sky... so deeply moving. 

On the subject of deeply moving beauty... I also went to the Art museum in Pittsburgh and got to see this performance and stare at this painting. Both were SO moving. 

While I was there, it reminded me how much we, as humans, value art and pay money for art... yet our education systems do not value and invest in young creators. We consume, but do not replenish... food for thought. 
When we were in there we also saw all kinds of Native American artifacts... and every single artifact was artful. Think about that... they didn't have to be. Actually, it takes more time, energy, and resources to invest in that- but they did it anyways. They went past function and endeavored into the artful... WHY? Because humans need and crave art. It's simple. 

Art you say?
Check out this lion in my beer. 

Can't make this stuff up people! 

Also, I am addicted to the Great British Baking Show. I am convinced that I am 80 years old inside, but I don't care hahahahaha It's wholesome and counters my love for Criminal Minds. HAHAHA

I also tried my hand at some baking.... I did a chocolate cake with lots of help from my friend, AND I made some Chocolate Mouse all by myself :) Check it out! 



Cooking FOOD PICTURES

Also, I have been cooking still :) More on that in the future section!!! 

THIS WAS FREAKING SO GOOD! Sun Dried Tomato creamy red sauce with chicken and spinach! YUS YUS YUS! Literally one of my all time faves... :) 

This was one of the most difficult yet COOLEST meals I have ever prepared. This is duck with a mushroom risotto foundation, topped with a homemade mango chutney. Literally I think the best meal I've ever made (minus the beans... wasn't a fan to be honest) 

Eggplant Panini with Zuppa :) 

Fish and Sprouts :) LETS GOOOO

Now THIS was a hearty meal! Deer meat, sweet potatoes, sprouts, zucchini, and kale. COME ON NOW

A classic tofu stir fry. Literally so good. 

And last but not least a beautiful romantic dinner featuring my mom's Chicken Marsala recipe. Delightful. 

Cooking has quickly become one of my biggest passions.... :) 
This is a chapter that is just beginning :) 
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FUTURE

What is in my future? I have no clue. Honestly, I didn't think that I would be where I am currently... HAHAHAHAHA but, I do have hopes and dreams and ambitions... so maybe some of them will happen if they are right for me.

One of those big ambitions is to open up a Restaurant and Event Center in Cranberry. I want to cook my food for others, have live music playing/me playing for people, and hold events like opera nights, and craft nights, book clubs, ballroom dancing... all kinds of things. I know how much goes into even attempting a dream like this... but I am hopeful :) Let me know your thoughts about it sometime. I'd love to hear them. 
Basically, I want a place where people feel like they are cared about, and they can come to have an experience... and artful experience, a kind experience, an experience with well prepared food... :) 
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If you made it this far, you are a champ and I consider you a hero for not letting the length discourage you hahaha. So often in today's world, if it's not fast, we don't invest in it. If I can't read it in 25 seconds, I won't. When I post music, most people only listen to the first minute, if that... and so if you made it here, thank you so much for joining with me in reflection...

And as always, thank you for being a witness to my journey. 

I will leave you with this...

"I think we have to keep close who we are... who we desire to be, and how much we have overcome to better our lives, and the lives of others. We have to really sit with ourselves and reflect on our hearts and our intentions. We can't lose that spark... that... shine, because it's all we have. It's our sine that brightens the shadows that people live under. We can illuminate a world that needs light desperately. At the end of the day, we have to remember who we are. 

-Chase