"Nobody likes you when you're 23"

 *Cue Blink 182 and memories of simpler times*

"Nobody likes you when you're 23... what the hell is ADD?" 
Probably something that I have, honestly. More on that, never. 

Anyways! I'm back to blogging... It's been A LONG TIME since I have sat down to blog... and I just realized how much has happened, and how little reflection I have done... as evidenced by my lack of writing. So what has been going on in the life of Chase? Honestly, Chase isn't always sure... but let's see if we can dig in and figure out where the last year went, shall we? 

As always... I encourage you to not only join me on my journey, but to explore your own. What's been happening in your life? What inspires you? What brings you happiness, or pause? These are what I like to discuss in my blog, and I hope they inspire some deep and mindful reflection for you as well. 

The Great Pause: 

This time has been coined "The Great Pause." The COVID-19 era that has halted the busy traffic of our New York City imitation lives. Some of us have experienced great loss. Some of us have attempted to rise against the perceived tyranny of public health mandates. Some of us have even grown more now than ever before. I think it is safe to say that at least one aspect of life has remained intact during this tumultuous time... and that is that we are all incredibly unique creatures with our own experiences, ideas, opinions, feelings, choices, and responsibilities. Each one of us carries a lifetime of events that has shaped us into who we are... and those events and experiences are also the impetus behind our choices. What I hope that we all come to realize... that is, not to realize in the way of knowing, but to bring forth into a realization- is empathy. Empathy as an action, rather than an idea. Empathy as an active choice to see the elaborate and beautiful roots of each human, not just the branch that hangs too low for our liking. If we can do this, then surely we can disagree, but we can also come to find peace in ourselves, and others during "The Great Pause" 
I start off my blog with these thoughts not to be self-righteous, Lord knows that I am guilty of taking my hypothetical chainsaw to the branches of others that I do not agree with, but rather to set the stage... the curtain opened on a hopeful year, and yet we were met with microphone issues, set change malfunctions, missed cues on the vamps, and a slew of wrong lines... even despite all of this though--- it is still Art. Our lives are a process, and despite everything going haywire, we still have the opportunity to seek the Art in the chaos, and in our fellow thespians who we are sharing the stage with...
Even though.... one of them probably said Macbeth and that's why this happened in the first place. #forgiveness #theatrejokes

So what have I been up to? 
Thanks for asking... hypothetical person in my head. Here is what has been happening.

Cooking!

Here we have an "Asian Noodle" plate. Tofu, noodles with a fish sauce, and veggies. Definitely a fan favorite. 

Tried to get every basic color on this plate. Yellow, red, orange, green, purple... no blue :( 

A little breakfast. Funny story... I used to not be able to eat breakfast. It would make me feel sick to my stomach. Now I eat it every single day, and I put the most time and effort into that first meal to make sure that I set myself up for success. #growth

Ah, this meal. Brings back some beautiful memories. I made this meal for my best friend Ben Southwick and his finance Bethany. <3 A little bit of filet mignon in the middle of a shrimp pasta. Loved that meal, but I loved the company even more. 

Mango and Avocado Salmon. YUM. The salmon actually has a honey BBQ rub on it. Pause... clean up your drool. 

Spinach pasta with my secret homemade sauce from scratch. Featuring a bomb wine, and a nosey doggo. 

In my previous blogs I had begun to mention cooking. Back then, it was a small part of my life and a hobby that I was beginning to interact with. I had really started by using Hello Fresh. If you aren't aware, they send you a box of ingredients and a card with instructions for your meal. Eventually, because of cost, I decided to end the program, but it had empowered me to cook. It gave me ideas and the confidence that I needed to make decent meals. During this past year, I have fostered that small spark of confidence into a true passion of mine. When I enter the kitchen now, it is always under the pretense of joy and creativity... and that is not a place where I thought I would be. 
It's always "Hey Google, play Spotify" a small pour of some exquisite dry wine or bourbon, and off to the races we go. Music, a nice drink, and some cooking. Splendid. Truly splendid. 

***Tip for cooking/preparation- I created a Word document of my "go to meals" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner... and I hung it on my fridge. This list not only includes my meals, but also their variations and ingredients... I found that I would get to dinner and be like "what will I have tonight..." EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. and I could never think of anything, despite having cooked so many meals. This list helps me focus my thoughts and plan ahead in my shopping and my planning of meals.*** 

House!

Well.... I purchased an abode. Never would I have thought that I would buy a house right now- but I had a conversation over the summer that inspired me to do it. Also interest rates were SUPER low, so that's cool :) 
Lastly, it should be known that this is a small, cheap, starter home. It's not some Wexford mansion flaunting its suburban brilliance on the peasants of the surrounding areas.. HAHA. It's a joke Wexford friends, but seriously... calm down with all your money. 

Anyways... it's not much, but it's just enough for August and I to live peaceably... <3 

She needed some work- but after a couple of months of being here- it is really starting to feel like a home: a place for me to rest my tired bones, to center my energy, and make new memories. 

When Summer comes, I think I will do some outside cosmetic work. Let me know if you're interested in helping out. I will provide pizza, beer, and jokes. The first two are worth it, for sure. 

Bedroom. Best part- August sleeps right next to me every night. In the house I was renting, he would sleep downstairs- but now he gets to be with me :) 

Kitchen! Here is where the cooking magic happens. :)

The roof was in very bad condition. Made sure to sink some money into that, quickly hahaha 

Splurged and bought a 65 inch TV. This was my fun purchase :) I am not regretting it in the least. In this picture, I put on some soothing sounds for August, and he was OUT. Little cutie. 

And of course... a small porch. The sun sets beautifully upon my porch. August enjoys watching squirrels run through the front yard, and I enjoy the peace of sunlight. 

August: 

I mean... it's pretty clear by now, but August now lives with me! During college, he had to stay with my parents because I wasn't able to have pets, nor did I have the ability to take care of him. Luckily my parents filled that role and took care of him during that time. Now- he is living with me and I couldn't be happier to have him around. COVID sucks- but August has made so much of it better. You feeling down? This section is for YOU!

Just a happy lil dude. 

 A tired pup. He is always curling up and sleeping. He is a great role model for REST. 

But sometimes... he just wants to play <3 

But mostly rest... HAHA

Literally no filter. That tree is SO beautiful. 

A golden pup living his best life. 

Purple evening sky and a happy dude. 

LOOK. AT. THOSE. EXPRESSIVE. EYES. COME. ON.

He was still a little chunky here... but we have worked on that since! ;) 

I remember this day vividly. We went on a short walk and then decided to park ourselves under a tree and just enjoy the shade. He looked so happy that I had to take a photo. 

As I write this, he is currently curled up like a little fox on his bed, snoring I might add ;) He is a precious soul... sometimes an ass... but precious none the less. I couldn't love him more if I tried. <3 

Job: 

I changed jobs!!! It's actually crazy to think about how long I have been there... As I was reading my last blog, I was in a TOTALLY different arena as far as my jobs were concerned. 

Short story :) 
A job opening popped into my inbox. Music Director for Hope Lutheran Church: Part Time. After being at my church job for 4 years, and feeling the desire to reach more people, I decided to at least try for the job. Something felt right. So I did- and after about a month of interviewing I GOT THE JOB! WOO! I ended up, for so many reasons that I do not feel live delving into, leaving my public school teaching job and pursuing full-time work at Hope Lutheran. Though I dearly miss my students and my colleagues, more than I can articulate in writing, the move to Hope Lutheran was the right choice at the right time. For those of you who really know me, you know how difficult it is for me to say those words of sureness... but I am sure. I have been blessed beyond compare to be at Hope Lutheran and we are doing some incredible work and ministry there. Not only that, but through Hope, I met one person specifically who changed my life forever; Laurie. More on her, soon. 

Being at Hope I have grown closer to God, become more creative, and found a staff who empower me, support me, and make me feel "at home." I seriously lucked out on this one... and I can't wait to see what the future holds. 

Here is one of the only photos I have of myself at Hope! This was a rehearsal with Sam Kochis for a Sunday service. That performance was SO much fun, and I can't wait to collaborate with her again. 

Here is our website (https://hlc.church/) where you can find our services. Currently, we are completely online. We also have Advent services each Wednesday of Advent in preparation for Christmas Eve. We would love if you would join us for service <3 

Music:

Speaking about music................ :) I have been doing some music stuff! Wow how specific Chase. haha. 
I have been getting myself back into songwriting which has been fun. I wrote a personal song to relive beautiful moments, and I have also been writing a lot of original Christian music. I am thinking about doing a livestream with just my original Christian music!

I also was able to finally premiere my flute piece "Lament" with the incredible Paula Mims! Here is the link. Please ignore the weird sound at the beginning... it goes away as soon as she plays her first note. This piece follows the process of grief. Let me know what you think!!!! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijtTHZTZT6A

I also wrote my first tenor solo, and got it recorded!!! WOO HOO! Huge thanks to James Lesniak for accompanying this piece, and really accompanying me my entire first semester of grad school. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx0BGsdnwkY 

Lastly, I hope you will enjoy some musical theatre. This year I tied for second place at NATS and this was one of my selections :) Is it perfect? Nope... but it was rewarding to sing and have fun. And for that, I am grateful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bi2f4dcsxQ 

Health:

Buckle up. So much on this topic. 
In January of last year... almost exactly a year ago, I decided that I needed a change. The combination of stress, lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, and lack of exercise landed me in a place where I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. When I looked at myself, I felt rather disgusted, and I felt low energy and miserable so much of the time. It was from this place that I decided to stop being so stubborn and start taking my health more seriously. 

For some reason, I had always pretended that health was not important. I had the idea that people who took their health seriously were self-righteous jerks who just wanted to shove their healthy life in everyone's faces and make us feel bad about ourselves. I watched people eat healthy foods, exercise, and consider the health benefits of certain actions and habits, and to me, it was pretentious and annoying. 
I broke through my own sense of ignorance and gave some things a try and now I can truly never go back. Not because I am so much better than anyone else (like I used to think healthy people felt) but because I FEEL so much better, and my life has improved since making these changes. If you are someone who feels the way that I felt, please know that I am here if you ever want some non-judgmental advice and I can refer you to my AMAZING health coach as well. Here are the changes that I made:

1: I got glasses. (Yes, seriously I was that stubborn. I wouldn't even consider getting glasses until I had a panic attack while driving because I couldn't see)

2: I started chiropractic. I put my money where my mouth was an invested in a care plan so that I could get serious about my health. I have felt more connected with my body, mind, and emotions, and because of this I have been more adaptive to what life throws at me. Shout out to Dr. Dom at Health First Chiropractic! CHECK HIM OUT. 

3: I started running. I ran my first half marathon, and in one year I ran 210 miles!!!!! Going from 0 to 210 is HUGE! And I am proud of myself :) 

4: I started working with a health coach; Laurie. I would have seriously laughed hysterically at someone if they said they had a health coach. I would have, in all of my ego and vast knowledge, questioned them about why they need someone else to be healthy. Now, I can't thank her enough. She has guided me through nutrition, mindfulness, grace, and overall wellness in a way that I really can't fully describe. I have never felt better about my health in my entire life. If you are looking for some life changes- she is the best of the best. Here is her website :) https://www.simplyempoweredllc.com/

Health and wellness is a lifelong journey. Its daunting, but it is worth it. I am by no means perfect, and that is actually what has helped me stay on for so long. It is that grace. It is knowing that it's okay to slip up, and not hit the mark all the time. Because let's be honest... chicken wings are almost always calling my name. ;) 

____________________

Ah, The Great Pause. While I am fully cognizant of the pain, turmoil, and utter loss of this COVID-19 time, I hope to celebrate the good that has come over this past year. I never mean to minimize the struggles of others, as I am aware that not everyone shares the ability to be grateful for this past year. Because of this, I would like to dedicate this small portion to those humans. If you are a person who prays, let us pray for them. If you are a person who meditates on the energy of the universe, let us meditate. No matter what you do, let us all come together and truthfully seek to lift each other up. Let us investigate what our neighbors needs are. Let us donate our time to organizations that care for the least among us. Let us willfully send a message to our friends and check in on them and their mental health. Let us do our best to practice safe and healthy habits for our communities, nation, and our world. And let us do our best to find the courage to act out of pure love for those who need it the most during these dark times. 
If you are someone who needs someone to talk to- you can always reach out to me. <3 

I wish dearly that you are safe, healthy, and at the very least, content during these insane times. We have to remember to keep the big picture in our perspective. Someday this will pass... the world will be different when it does, but it will pass. <3 

As always... thank you for being a witness to my journey. Much love to you and yours. <3 

-Chase A. Upchurch